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Fall



First we feel, then we fall.








End of week 2, and so much changed within just one week. 

Two of my good friends left, increased the distance between us, one physical distance and the other mental distance I guess. Joel left for Russia, one less drinking buddy here with me. Now, I am just genuinely jealous of people that are on exchange, cos that use to be my life. The other friend, hmm, I am kind of still in a blur state as everything just happened and changed so much within a week.  Overall, this week just ended with a big sense of emptiness looming within me. 

Close my eyes, imagine I am back in my bed in Tilburg. Cooked up some things for myself, talk a walk around in town, catch up with a friend or two. At night, just chill by the house music with a bottle, or several bottles, of beer. Everything was relax and simple, no problems are able to surpass the night. At least not those you met in the club. 

Close my eyes again, imagine I am lying under the beach umbrella, enjoying the little sea breeze and watching the Aegean Sea in Santorini. On the island, there is no concept of time, as I just laze around and falling asleep by the beach. The usual afternoon routine involves taking naps under the beach umbrella, getting soaked in the sea and sun and occasionally switch between coffee and beer.  

Back to reality. Perhaps, one thing for coming back to reality is that there's too much time, ironically. Too much time to think and second guesses, indirectly making things more complicated than it should be. I am not someone that can express my feelings easily, but when I do, sometimes I overdo it, sometimes I underdone it.  This is when things get wrong. But, I only mean well. 

Maybe its best to crawl back into my turtle shell once again. Or maybe, work will be a better option as usually reward is guaranteed after hard work has been put in. At least it is still predictable and I can be control of it. Whereas fate is something that just screw me over and over again. 

My exchange should have ended 2 months ago, but it lasted longer than it should be. I am grateful, but now, I think it is really time for me to look forward to my next journey. *fingers-crossed*



Well, I hope my friends can come back soon.