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What I have learnt

A 25 years old life lesson

It is almost 2 months of unemployment, I have traveled half the world to 4 countries. It definitely sounds like a self-entitled millennial saying, but it has been a journey of self-reflecting and soul-searching. Especially my first solo trip ever in my life, 5 days in Japan by myself. I was the best time ever, I did not do anything crazy, but it has been the most amazing trip ever. I am now finally feeling better about myself, slowly finding the real me back. There has been mind opening moments that I really want to capture down so when in times of need, I can look at this post again. 

1. Having everything but unhappy vs Having nothing but happy

Looking back, it was definitely a hell of a ride. Looking back, I really started my career high. With a very good (chill) role, with a very nice boss. I was earning more than average fresh grads. I had work life balance. Life was stable. That was definitely the peak. But I didn't realise then this stability is precious. I was thinking it is boring and I cannot imagine this is going to be the norm for the next 10-20 years. 

Life definitely gives you what you want. It has to turn 180 for me. Changed a new role, found some amazing friends, started hanging out more. It was fun, work hard and play really hard. There was a peak for sure, maybe for a month at most. I had everything that I think I want in life. I have a good paying job, I had a challenge at work which I thought I overcame and I had "the one" I thought then that was encouraging me the whole way. That month was the epitome. That month was the kind of life the 15 years old me would have dreamt of the successful grown up me to be leading. 

It was fun while it lasted, the fall is as high as the peak. Everything was just a downward spiral from then on that at that point I did not even realise what deep shit I was in. Everything else after is history that I swear I will never ever want to go through again in life. 

Here we are, now. I have nothing. I have no job, I have no bf, I have no income, I do not know how the future looks like. But I am happy. I have not received so much love from my friends and families in the past few months than ever. I am glad I finally severe all ties from that toxic past. I went on trips that I discover myself and own no one and nothing but myself. 

2. Life is about making choices

Life is just a series of choices. I think I may have mentioned this before that I never regret anything in life, everything happens for a reason. But now I have also learnt that it takes courage to make certain choices. And you make certain choices at that specific timing for a reason too. Looking back now, I may see that are many other options at that point. But also, I knew that at that point, I want nothing but that choice I have made. Once you made a certain choice, then stick by it. Just going to make it work. I have no other choice now anyway but to look forward. 

So one day I may have to make a decision between having everything but unhappy vs having nothing but happy. That is a decision for another day, and no matter what happens then, I will stick by the choice I make then.

3. Love yourself

As cliche as this may sound. You probably have heard this a million times from gazillion romcoms already. I never really understand what it meant. Like of course I love myself, what do you mean. But I think I kinda grasp the idea now cos I think I have never been in love with myself so much before. Especially this solo trip, even if it is the smallest things, but I am darn proud of myself for making my way from Osaka, Kyoto to Tokyo. I love how I am so efficient and gone to all the places I want to visit. I love how I am not afraid to eat alone, to queue alone, to visit exhibitions alone and to strike conversations with strangers. I love how smart I am to never get lost at all. 

I used to be like "oh I am going to save this place to go with my other half one day." Now I am like, why the hell did I waited, I can go on my own and it is so fun and maybe even more fun than going with the other half. 

Highly recommend everyone to go on a solo trip once. It is not even exaggerating that it will be life changing. 

4. Moving on and hope

If you have not watched Avengers Endgame yet, you may skipped the next sentence, it may be kind of a spoiler. But if it takes the Avengers 5 years to avenge, then please have the patience and hope for the future. No matter who and what did you wrong in the past, you never know where or what they will become in 5 years time. More importantly, you never know what YOU will become in 5 years times. You can change the game, and you will. So do not ever lose hope. Right now, I do admit I am getting a little anxious of unemployment, but I have nothing but good faith that a better future lies ahead. There is no way to go but up from here. With all the lesson learnt (in the hard way), just make you that fall after the peak can be preempted or minimised. 

So I hope I will have good news on landing a job soon and will keep you guys updated!
Or if you want to hire me, please contact me! Will work for wifi lol.